Jordan Irvine
i was born
and now i’m here
my favourite blanket as a baby was cream coloured and i sucked on the corner
and now i’m here
1 then 2 then 3 then 4
and now i’m here
plastic cups to sip water
on blankets
on grass
on ground
that you can feel
and now i’m here
i had a best friend in kindergarten and our mums still talk but not us
and now i’m here
i got Kung Fu Panda for christmas
then made all my soft toys do kung fu
there were rivalries
story arcs
their names were kiwi because it was a kiwi
and cowy because it was a cow
they fought and fought but eventually became friends
so they could fight against a higher evil
and now i’m here
a girl named mackenzie kissed me on the cheek when i was 5
and now i’m here
a different girl named mackenzie accidentally bumped into me and i fell off the firefighter pole platform so i broke my arm (in two places)
and now i’m here
i wrote about it in a special writing class
i was 7 when it happened
9 when i wrote about it
for a different piece i used the word silhouette instead of shadow
and now i’m here
i ate a baked potato with my friend
during school
for some reason
it was just us with the day off
he could sing
so he did
it was ‘I See Fire’ by Ed Sheeran
and now i’m here
he could dance really well
to Michael Jackson songs
who i loved as well
and now i’m here
he was a year older than me
i had a crush on him
i think
i was 10
it’s hard to tell
now i’m here
i was one of the first people ever to win a junior championship at forsyth barr stadium
and now i’m here
my dad was the coach
he had been since i was 6
but i played since i was 5
for some reason the term used for those young teams at the time is the slur for little people?
and now i’m here
i enjoyed basketball more anyways
i really did have a crush on my coach
my mum called it a man crush when i said i visited him at his work while we were in town shopping
we talked a lot about rap and he introduced me to Noname
he told a story Jay-Z shared in a David Letterman interview
i laughed way too hard when he said it
and now i’m here
i would see him 4 times week
2 times on tuesday
2 times on thursday
1 time on friday
those practices he would play music
i made fun of him for playing Russ
as well as enjoying a certain Chance the Rapper album too much
he was studying law
i watched Suits so of course i wanted to be a lawyer
he gave advice on what subjects to take
and now i’m here
well i’m not a fucking lawyer
i took history all the way through
it kind of blows sometimes
law is hard work
but i took english
so i write
and now i’m here
i wrote a short story called flowers when i was 16
about a girl i liked
the teacher helped
we thought it was good
really good
submitted it to the literary luncheon
where i did not win
or place
or anything
and now i’m here
except they put it on the yearbook
and the Otago Daily Times
but i did not get a free lunch
and now i’m here
i would then continue writing poetry
it was bad
and now i’m here
but it got better
and now i’m here
i wrote about sexuality, jesus, depression
and now i’m here
but better at it
i continue writing english
and now i’m here
nearly graduated
and now i’m here
i was born and started writing this poem
and now i’m here
and now i’m here
my favourite blanket as a baby was cream coloured and i sucked on the corner
and now i’m here
1 then 2 then 3 then 4
and now i’m here
plastic cups to sip water
on blankets
on grass
on ground
that you can feel
and now i’m here
i had a best friend in kindergarten and our mums still talk but not us
and now i’m here
i got Kung Fu Panda for christmas
then made all my soft toys do kung fu
there were rivalries
story arcs
their names were kiwi because it was a kiwi
and cowy because it was a cow
they fought and fought but eventually became friends
so they could fight against a higher evil
and now i’m here
a girl named mackenzie kissed me on the cheek when i was 5
and now i’m here
a different girl named mackenzie accidentally bumped into me and i fell off the firefighter pole platform so i broke my arm (in two places)
and now i’m here
i wrote about it in a special writing class
i was 7 when it happened
9 when i wrote about it
for a different piece i used the word silhouette instead of shadow
and now i’m here
i ate a baked potato with my friend
during school
for some reason
it was just us with the day off
he could sing
so he did
it was ‘I See Fire’ by Ed Sheeran
and now i’m here
he could dance really well
to Michael Jackson songs
who i loved as well
and now i’m here
he was a year older than me
i had a crush on him
i think
i was 10
it’s hard to tell
now i’m here
i was one of the first people ever to win a junior championship at forsyth barr stadium
and now i’m here
my dad was the coach
he had been since i was 6
but i played since i was 5
for some reason the term used for those young teams at the time is the slur for little people?
and now i’m here
i enjoyed basketball more anyways
i really did have a crush on my coach
my mum called it a man crush when i said i visited him at his work while we were in town shopping
we talked a lot about rap and he introduced me to Noname
he told a story Jay-Z shared in a David Letterman interview
i laughed way too hard when he said it
and now i’m here
i would see him 4 times week
2 times on tuesday
2 times on thursday
1 time on friday
those practices he would play music
i made fun of him for playing Russ
as well as enjoying a certain Chance the Rapper album too much
he was studying law
i watched Suits so of course i wanted to be a lawyer
he gave advice on what subjects to take
and now i’m here
well i’m not a fucking lawyer
i took history all the way through
it kind of blows sometimes
law is hard work
but i took english
so i write
and now i’m here
i wrote a short story called flowers when i was 16
about a girl i liked
the teacher helped
we thought it was good
really good
submitted it to the literary luncheon
where i did not win
or place
or anything
and now i’m here
except they put it on the yearbook
and the Otago Daily Times
but i did not get a free lunch
and now i’m here
i would then continue writing poetry
it was bad
and now i’m here
but it got better
and now i’m here
i wrote about sexuality, jesus, depression
and now i’m here
but better at it
i continue writing english
and now i’m here
nearly graduated
and now i’m here
i was born and started writing this poem
and now i’m here
Jordan Irvine (they/them) is an Ōtepoti-born poet who has been published in the Spinoff and Bad Apple.